it’s the beautiful things
by for the pandas
Summary: AU, no Uchiha massacre. SasuSaku. SakuMultiple. My exboyfriend is dating my best friend. I'm plotting with his brother to move on... My exgirlfriend is moving on. I have a prearranged marriage that I have to go through with.
1. prologue

**A/N**: Okay…well, I'm going to have it in Sakura's POV in the next chapter. And then Sasuke's. And then Sakura's. And then Sasuke's. (Do you see a pattern?)

disclaimer: no.

**it's ****the beautiful things**: a sasusaku [slight AU

**prologue  
****title**: …prologue.  
**genre**: humor/romance  
**warnings**: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T  
**things**: Yeah. They're 16 and Itachi never killed his family, but a lot of things are the same – Sakura & Ino's friendship thing, genin teams, etc.

There were tons of things that Uchiha Sasuke would rather do on Saturdays. You know, like train and stuff.

And that's what he had been doing.

Until _Naruto_, his eternal rival (and best friend, albeit sometimes he wished he wasn't) went crazy on him and used Rasengan.

On his arm.

ANDOHMYGOD, he would never admit it, but it hurt.

Like, _really hurt_.

Which is why he trudged back home (with no help from Naruto, of course) to be greeted with a strict Mikoto who had been going out for groceries, who of course, made him go to the hospital.

And now he was sitting, waiting to be treated by a doctor.

Preferably a guy (no, he was not fucking gay; he just didn't want to be oogle-ed at).

So when the door opened and he saw pink, he flinched.

It better not be some bitch.

Shit.

That pink was too familiar.

It wasn't a bitch.

Nicer, but still…

It was his ex-girlfriend, Haruno Sakura.

She walked into the room, not seemingly aware of who was in the room, as she clicked her pen and put her clipboard down on the desk.

When she looked up, he saw what in her eyes?

…Hurt? …Pain? …Rejection? …Betrayal?

Granted, he would never have broken up with her if it hadn't been for his father.

Fugaku loved Sakura as a person and everything (surprisingly), but he had his youngest son previously engaged.

To one Haruno Sakura's best friend, Yamanaka Ino.

And oh, shit, he left Sasuke with the job of breaking up with her.

"Oh, hello, Uchiha-san," she said politely. "Would you sit up?"

He stiffened on the rough paper-padded table. She put her hands on his bicep, where, if he hadn't had so much goddamn pride and wasn't hurting, would have swooned. Truthfully, he had missed her.

But damnit, he had, by orders of his father, just asked out Ino on a date (he was pretty sure that she had no idea about the already set-up engagement).

Chakra flew into his arm and he sighed in relief.

"I'll have to thank Naruto later," she said, as she healed him. "I heard you asked out Ino on a date."

And he flinched.

"Hn."

_Let's not talk about this._

"She's so happy about it."

He weakly nodded.

She removed her hand and started walking out the door. "Don't let her down," she said, before closing the door.

He was in some deep shit.

**A/N**: And oh yes, reviews are like cookies (unless you don't like cookies, in which case you are _crazy_). And I want cookies. Cookies are my friends. Thus, you shall hand me cookies in the form of reviews. Because you are not sadistic or trying to make me cry. Why, thank you. It's a short prologue but more to come! ;; The humor will get better.


	2. she is now available

**A/N**: OH TOTALLY!

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because I would never have made such wacky perverts or pedophilic snake men who like crazy mad bows.

**it's the beautiful things**: a sasusaku [slight AU

**chapter #1  
****title**: she is now available  
**genre**: humor/romance  
**warnings**: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T. and it's kind of perverted. AND I HAVE BAD GRAMMAR! (English isn't my language or anything)  
**things**: Yeah. Orochimaru isn't a bad guy. He trained Sasuke like how Jiraiya trained Naruto, while traveling (but he has that pedophile thing still working for him).

Yes. I am Haruno Sakura. I'm also pink-haired. And sad. And I could stab someone right now if Naruto would just stop flirting with his girlfriend (they're cute and all but COME ON, after a while it just makes me want to puke, no offense Hinata) and come here so I can wail all over him (and stab him).

But that's not happening.

I can't turn to Ino, who I had just recently reconciled with because fighting over a guy was stupid.

And you know.

I _had_ the guy.

But now she does and I can't tell her how jealous and devastated I am.

And _t__hat's_ why he dumped me?

To go jump my best friend (not Naruto, as much as my perverted mind would like…)?

So who do I turn to?

The ex's brother.

Who is conveniently also one of my best friends (even though he is a goddamn ANBU genius and might be crazy, he's really nice to me).

So I go to Ichiraku's where I see Itachi.

And bawl out my eyes.

"Itachi-kun," I say sadly, with large eyes, because even though he is one of those stoic, "I-maimed-1000-enemies-today" guys, he cannot resist large, puppy dog eyes.

Which is a weakness that only Mikoto and I know (because I chose to share this information on her son to her because I couldn't hold it in anymore), and is also good blackmail material.

He tries to look away but I grab his ponytail before he can, turn him around, and start crying into his ANBU uniform before he can stop me.

Many onlookers stop dead at the sight of Uchiha Itachi trying to console a pink-haired medic-nin.

And of course, they rush away before they actually _become_ dead.

"What happened?" he asked, unaware of the break-up that had happened two days prior.

"Well you know how your brother broke up with me two days ago?"

And at this he is somewhat flinching.

OH YEAH, I HAVE ITACHI ON MY SIDE.

"No."

"Well he did."

"Hn."

I take my time to roll my eyes out of my head. SCREW THE ANBU CAPTAIN-OSITY! I AM GOING TO BEAT HIS ASS SO FAR INTO THE GROUND THAT HIS HEAD FALLS OFF! GODDAMN MALE UCHIHAS WITH THEIR PENISES ARE GOING DOWN!

FEAR THE ALMIGHTY RAGE OF ME, HARUNO SAKURA.

"And NOW he is fucking going out with my best friend."

And cue more crying.

I should not do this in public.

Because you know, my ex-boyfriend might see this and call me _annoying_ and cause me to kick him in the place-where-it-hurts and send him to the place-where-he-will-never-see-sunlight-again, or my best friend might see this and stop being friends with me.

And Sasuke-kun will realize that I am miserable.

And get engaged to Ino.

Just to make me more miserable.

And I will have to be consoled by Itachi forever.

And I know that he'll hate that, as much as I'll love it.

But nonetheless, Itachi is sort-of hugging me and helping me and it's helping. Because I really just need a friend. It makes me sound cliché-ish but who doesn't love a cliché? Because I am weeping and sad and the ex's brother (who is hot) is hugging me and making me feel better.

"I knew my brother was gay," Itachi says, which makes me smile and want to molest him.

But I don't molest weasels.

Unless they are willing (and oh Kami-sama, _that sounded bad_).

It's like me announcing to the world: "I NEED HUMAN INTERACTION! HUG ME! TOUCH ME!"

And that is scary, because I don't want some people to touch me (COUGHJIRAIYACOUGH), and that one nightmare was enough to scar me for life.

"Not Naruto!" I whine, and try to hit him on the head playfully (he dodges, because he is super ninja). "Ino!"

He gives me a "Hn," and I stop crying and order a bowl of ramen and threaten the Ichiraku owner never to tell anyone what I said because I am NOT jealous I am simply going through the break-up phase and it just hurts to know that my best friend would accept a date with my ex-boyfriend when she knew it would hurt me.

And then I greeted Ayame and told her all about my problems.

"So, you know my boyfriend, or should I say _ex_-boyfriend Sasuke?"

Ayame nodded. I feel pity for this girl, she has no idea what she's about to hear.

"Well yeah, he broke up with me. He came to the hospital two days ago and told me 'We aren't working out so I'm breaking up with you.'"

I seriously almost collapsed in tears right there. I am the dumpee (victim of dumper), so I am allowed to feel depressed and bitch all I want. I blabbed and blubbered on the detail of his bastardly break-up with me until we came to the end.

"Then the next day Ino came and told me that he asked her out!"

Then Itachi gave me a look that's like, '_As if she didn't already hear your problems__'_

And then he poked me in the forehead.

_WARNING: You have entered enemy territory. Flee as fast as you can._

I then cracked my knuckles as threatening as I could and Ayame gave Itachi a bittersweet smile before walking off, and Itachi rolled his eyes.

But that was before I punched him in the nose.

And I'm pretty sure he just let me to make me feel better (because he really is a sweet weasel deep inside, so I healed him).

Now I'm sitting on his bed, while he meditates (it's tempting me to kick him, seriously), in the Uchiha Mansion, in his room.

"If Sasuke is going to date, then so am I," I announced, and Itachi's eyes flicked open.

He smirked.

And how I wanted him to close his eyes again so I could smash that face in with my foot.

**A/N**: This story is kind of like … crack. But not really. I love non-super-evil Itachi. 3 He is God. This chapter is kind of short too…but you know. I'm not a typing goddess. I have work to do.


	3. he is a manly man

**A/N**: This chapter won't be as funny. Because let's face it, _Sasuke_ cannot be as funny as Sakura. I LOVE YOU, MY REVIEWERS! Don't worry, les-liaisons-dangereuses, there will be some ItaSaku in this story (as well as SakuxManyBoys). AND OHMYGOSHIES, I just realized that I need to put in Inner Sakura. :P Next chapter, people, next chapter.

disclaimer: Well would you look that that? I don't own an emo ninja, a pig, OR a huge ginormous toad.

**it's the beautiful things**: a sasusaku [slight AU

**chapter #****2  
****title**: he is a manly man  
**genre**: humor/romance  
**warnings**: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T. and it's kind of perverted. AND I HAVE BAD GRAMMAR! (English isn't my language or anything)  
**things**: AND OMFG!!! WHAT? ITACHI'S NICE? AND SASUKE ISN'T ALL EMO-AVENGER-ISH?! HE'S JUST SUPER-CONCEITED? And this is humor, so it's … funnier than Sasuke really is. :D Oh. And I hope none of this stuff offends you. Because if it does. Well, then it offends you. AND IF YOU LIKE INO, Sasuke doesn't. AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE INO, Sasuke doesn't.

_for all the things that go in __sasuke's__ head that we don't know about._

I am not jealous.

I, the almighty Uchiha Sasuke, cannot and will not be jealous of my brother.

He's just…

OLD! (**1**)

And, ew, he was touching my (ex-)girlfriend. I'd prefer to think that she's still mine. I'm glad to know that she cried about me, but did she have to go to Itachi-niisan?

She's tainted now.

I can no longer touch her.

Nah, I'd touch her if a skunk…

If a skunk did _anything_ to her (but I will protect her from the evil skunk wrath, so there's no need to even think about that).

Why couldn't the dobe stop being a "love machine" (as he's told me) and go help her? And why did Hinata have to be…interacting with the dobe? Why was Tenten on a mission? WHERE WERE HER FUCKING SENSEIS?

And Ino.

I guess she couldn't talk to Ino.

About me.

(Because everyone loves me, you know.)

So today I entered the Uchiha Mansion, and guess what?

I sensed a very familiar chakra (no, it was not my family member, fool, it would not be interesting if it was).

I traced it all the way back to Itachi's room. I peeked in through the crack of the door, and (I was not eavesdropping, merely satisfying my curiosity and _suspicions_) saw something strange.

Haruno Sakura, _my_ (ex-)girlfriend, was sitting on Itachi's bed.

Don't get me wrong, I love Itachi-niisan (IN A BROTHERLY WAY, YOU SICK FOOLS), but he will not and must not touch my (ex-)girlfriend in anyway. Because otherwise he will die (I can beat him. When I was five, I beat him, even though he let me).

Then I heard Sakura say something, so I pushed my ear in between the crack (there was no way they could see me with my awesome ninja skills), and I heard her say, "So who should I date?"

I almost gagged; thinking of her with somebody else would kill me. _Don't say __Neji__, don't say __Neji_, I chanted hopefully towards Itachi.

"Hyuuga-san," Itachi told her.

And then he smirked. And ruffled her hair.

Fucking bastard.

I don't mean to sound like a psycho but…

I SHALL AVENGE.

And of course, keep Neji far away from Sakura.

Because you know, Sakura is my (ex-)girlfriend. She is mine, no matter how many guys she dates, or how many times I have to see Ino as more than just a friend (which she is not). I know I sound like a possessive (ex-)boyfriend, but…

We went out for two years. And we were best friends since we were babies.

If that doesn't enable me to be _worried_ (COUGH possessive COUGH), then what does? And I can't be _concerned_ that my Itachi-niisan _might_ hurt (COUGH rape COUGH) her?

…Well.

Then I inched slowly away from the door and to my room. My room is deliciously blue and black. Yes, deliciously. If only they would ship me something that I've heard is called a television…

OH, but I have pictures.

Yes, sometimes I care enough.

Okay, I have _one_ picture.

Of Team 7.

Because of the perverts and dobes and (ex-)girlfriends, this has got to be the, er…

Least normal bunch.

But they are my team and I have some sort of bonds with them (and if I didn't have pride, I would've drawn a heart around Sakura's head). Kakashi is actually…

Nice.

(For teaching me Chidori, nothing else.)

The dobe is…

Oh screw it, the dobe is a dobe.

And Sakura.

Well…

Er…

I might think of her in a way that one would like someone as _more than a friend_.

And you know that she was my (ex-)girlfriend?

She's mine.

So yeah, I sat in my awesome room and plotted ways to keep the Hyuuga away from Sakura.

(Then I ate dinner and went to bed.)

The next day I got up, surprisingly, late.

And now I am in this situation that is slightly uncomfortable because Sakura is HERE for breakfast and Itachi-niisan has no shirt on (okay, that's not making _me_ uncomfortable, it's making me UNCOMFORTABLE that Sakura is seeing it) and otousan was eating natto (which I hate) with soy sauce and rice and okaasan was eating eggs and well YEAH.

How could they be so fine with it all?

She's my (ex-)girlfriend.

AND WELL (are you catching on?).

I'm dating her best friend (because I have to).

Um.

So.

Be nonchalant.

Totally casual.

Do not act like a girl.

Or a pansy.

YOU ARE A MAN!

A manly man.

Alright. So now I'm reaching for a tomato (I love whoever brought these) and sat down. And now I'm biting into the tomato (oh fucking Kami-sama I love these).

"Sasuke-chan, do you like the tomatoes?" okaasan asks, and I nod somewhat (I love all tomatoes. Tomatoes are my friends.), and she continues. "Sakura-chan brought them over!"

I almost choke, key word almost.

Because choking would not be casual. It would be erratic. Non-nonchalant. And I cannot be non-nonchalant because that will make me look bad and I do not like looking bad. And then I look into those green eyes and almost melt, key word almost.

Because melting in the middle of breakfast would not be casual. It would be uncustomary. It would be pansy-like. I cannot be acting pansy-like because it will make me feel like a girl and I am a man.

A MANLY MAN.

(Totally.)

1: Itachi is not old. Sasuke is just wallowing in a pool of self-pity, and mentally teasing his older brother will make him feel better about it.

(nii-san/onii-san is older brother. I call my older brothers NAME-nii-san but some people call older brothers just nii-san or onii-san or their name. So I used like … a bunch of variations. XD Otousan is father/dad and okaasan is mother/mom)

Natto is fermented/mashed soybeans.

**A/N**: Sasuke's a possessive little bitch, aint he? Can you tell me if I did Sasuke alright, because or else I'll just do Sakura's POV. Andd…if you got the whole "I love whoever brought these" thing … well. It's still short but it's really late at night here. :D DO NOT CRITIQUE SASU-CHAN'S THOUGHTS. WE ALL UNDERSTAND HE IS STRANGE AND IN LOVE WITH SAKURA.


	4. she is likin' the eggs

**A/N**: I AM GOING TO REPLY TO MY REVIEWERS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN AND I AM SUPER BORED. AND THANK YOU COOKIE EGO BOOSTER GIVERS (plus alerter people. be on the alert.). AND ENTER **INNER SAKURA**. And yes. This chapter is kind of…ick. As in not funny because I've had a bad day.

disclaimer: Well would you look that that? I don't own an emo ninja, a pig, OR a huge ginormous toad.

**lito****-pink-****chihuahua**: D Wish granted.

**les-liaisons-****dangereuses**: I love AkaSaku too, so the appearance will be definite! And do not fear, avenger Sasuke will come again.

**superpanda**: Yes. I am pairing Sakura with almost every guy in the series (except for Naruto, because he has Hinata, but if you really want me to do Naruto, somebody can ask me).

**sasusaku12**: ItaSaku is one of my fave. pairings and jealous possessive Sasuke makes me feel happy inside.

**blossoms14**: XD Yes, Sasuke is quite (COUGHSUPERCOUGH) weird.

**Inu-ru831**: You're so nice. And Sasuke will always be jealous.

**reader713**: No. But he will find out soon. And he'll probably still go with the plan to make his little otouto mad. But I'm probably going to put in some filler chapters for the less important people out there (BUT THESE WILL BE IMPORTANT).

**tragic serenade**: 3 THANK YOU.

**it's the beautiful things**: a sasusaku [slight AU

**chapter****3****title**: she is likin the eggs  
**genre**: humor/romance  
**warnings**: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T. and it's kind of perverted. AND I HAVE BAD GRAMMAR (English isn't my first language)!  
**things**: Sakura is moving on (REVENGE, SAKURA, REVENGE) and is choosing a certain Hyuuga for seduction:D

_and the plan returns_

Oh Kami-sama.

There is my ex-boyfriend. Eating my tomatoes (as gross as it may sound).

**Avert your eyes**, chimed in Inner Sakura. I turned my head and she screamed, **OH HOLY MOTHER OF…**

Itachi's chest.

Itachi's bare naked chest.

I am a fucking teenage girl with hormones.

**HIS PARENTS ARE RIGHT HERE!**

I laughed at my subconscious before reanalyzing the situation and realizing that I was flaming RED.

I could jump him to make Sasuke jealous.

No. He wouldn't care. He's Ino's bitch now, not mine. _Not __mine__, not __mine__Ino's__. You're __moving on, moving on, moving on like a WOMAN!_

So Itachi, being the nice little ANBU Captain that he is, let me stay here for the night as we created evil plans (for me to move on. Because that is so the top priority now.). Of course, being the spoiled hog he is, he _also_ had to NOT GIVE ME ANY BLANKETS in the freezing night (of course I stole them from him after a little wrestling in the middle of the night; he's really…strong when he's asleep) and I HAD TO LISTEN TO HIM MURMUR something about…Neji?

OH SCARY, HOT THOUGHTS.

I'm sure I want to know.

"Ohayou," I greeted, before tending to my eggs.

My precious eggs (no, not the ones in me, the ones on my fucking plate).

And then I look up.

Right into his face.

AND OH I THINK I'M MELTING.

I LOVE HIS EYES.

Of course, you could look at any other Uchiha male and see them too, but yeah, these eyes have always made me melt…

…

But I am moving on.

Yeah. I am totally doing that. As a matter of fact, I am going to go to the hospital son and announce to the whole (medical) world (of Konoha) that I am looking for a date. And a damn good date.

I have pretty high standards.

Like preferably _not_ someone who will dump me and then start dating one of my best friends?

Yeah. But I'll go look for a boyfriend when you know. I stop melting.

Think of Orochimaru. Orochimaru. Orochimaru.

OH EW!!

Who knew that sixteen-year-old minds could work like…just…ew.

At least I'm not thinking about Sasuke anymore. Not about Sasuke and the pathetic little piece of shit he has grounded me into and how I've resorted to groveling in my head.

No.

I will not grovel.

I will never beg or plead for his our _relationship_ back. I may lust after him, but I assure you there will be no more love for Uchiha Sasuke.

Except for from like…Ino and his fangirls.

(And me. But not anymore.)

(Well, give it a couple of days.)

"Sakura-chan, dear, would you like some more eggs?" Mikoto asked sweetly.

Oh Kami-sama.

I wish she was my mom.

But damn, I have to go to the hospital. Because then I get paid. And then I get experience. And money is good. I live by that. (And with experience, there is a 50 chance lower that I will get yelled at.)

"I would normally, but I have to go to the hospital," I answered, standing up. "I have to tell you that your eggs are great, though."

Yes that is fucking right.

Her scrambled eggs are the single most delicious thing on the earth, which partially scares me (because shouldn't ice cream be?).

"Then take some!" she grinned maniacally and I was almost scared.

But then she handed me the eggs (in a Chinese-style take-out box).

And then I looked up.

AND HOLY SHIT IT'S SASUKE.

So thus I ran out of the mansion straight to the hospital with chakra in my steps.

"Ohayou Haruno-san, there are three unserious victims in the ER Room that you can tend to right now," said the chipper blonde-haired medic-nin at the receptionist desk.

She was … too happy. I daresay … optimistic.

"They're quite stubborn."

**Whatever, medic-bitch, ****we can handle them! SHANNARO!**

Oh yes, Inner is extremely nice to my fellow colleagues.

I looked down at the clipboard and started walking down the hall to the first room. When I opened the door I saw a tattered, beat-up, pride-swollen Hyuuga Neji.

I was tempted not to laugh.

Okay.

Be professional, now, Sakura.

Oh goddamnit why didn't I choose an easier career?

I cleared my throat in that oh-so-professional way that I can because I am a professional. "Hello, Hyuuga-san," I said, pacing towards him.

At this point in time, I imagined he would be scared.

Because when I walk, you all know what that means.

I scare.

But no, he is keeping (or trying to) a stoic face. He has three _deep_, _bloody_, gashes on his left arm, his right leg is almost cut _open_, and his stomach has a big gaping hole.

How is he even fucking conscious?

And this is unserious?

"It's not really that bad," Neji stated, as I began to heal his stomach.

"I see _Naruto_ didn't use a very painful version of the Rasengan, ne?" I grinned, as his stomach stopped bleeding. "So what happened?"

"Hinata," Neji bluntly answered.

"Just let them be," I answered, closing up the major gash on his leg. I flipped through the clipboard again and looked at the other two names. "So…did you beat up Shikamaru for associating with the…clouds?"

"Mistake."

_Oh like hell it was._

"Totally," I replied, biting on my lip. "Yeah. Well I cleared up the major wounds, but you should let the arm gashes heal on their own and don't do anything stupid."

"Are you implying I do stupid things?"

_No, I'm implying that you're on crack._

**NO. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FLIRTING, NOT CHASTISING HIM.**

"Yes. Like, for instance, when you ran into that tree."

"That was your boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend."

"Ah. You broke up with the jackass?"

"He broke up with me. And now he's with Ino."

"…"

Fucking bastard's even worse than Sasuke at consolations.

"Okay," I said, as I finished healing him. "I've got to go tend to Shikamaru and Naruto then!"

"Tomorrow. 7 PM. Hyuuga Estate. Be there. Dress okay."

…

OHMYGOD!

I JUST GOT ASKED OUT!

FIRST THE DELICIOUS EGGS AND THEN A DATE!

OH MY FLIPPING FUCKING KAMI-SAMA I LOVE YOU.

I nodded (I was not blushing, I repeat, I was not blushing) and rushed out of the room.

I healed up Shikamaru and Naruto and then it was my lunch break. I heated up the eggs that Mikoto gave me. Life was good.

And I'm likin' these eggs.

**A/N**: MEH. I finished up this chapter yesterday but … I was tired. I almost failed a test and… yeah. I'm a little down in the dumps.


	5. he is appalled, just appalled

**A/N**: SPLASH! I've had a great day. Well. Not really. It's been more average so-so like yeah. I will give you a chapter. Before I have to go work on yet _another_ project…OAFGLASFGK! I KNOW YOU GUYS WANT IT, BUT THE DATE WON'T BE IN THIS CHAPTER. NOR THE NEXT. I AM GOING TO PAIN YOU. NEXT CHAPTER IS (THE VERY NUMBER ONE SPECTACULAR) SUPER-IMPORTANT FILLER. I hope you don't kill me . . . This chapter was kind of bordering shitty and is filled with lame-ness. Not quite as long as intended. Because I am writing my own stories.

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**blossoms14 **– The Neji I own is full of surprises. He is on the long list of Sakura's future bachelors:D

**EmeraldEyes69 **–MEEH! THANK YOU! D For that you get. You get. Er. Right. :D

**Inu-ru831** – KOOL. Neji/Sakura's date is postponed. BUT I'LL GET TO IT SOON, I PROMISE.

**deedee2034** –Hehheh.

**Rae Ahn Mae **- D HERE YOU GO!!: 3$#$(#)E

**sasusaku12** – Crazy good. Eggs are the epitome of cool. &Sorry…date won't be until chapter #6. . . I'm guessing/planning-ish. Neji. Well. You'll have to ask someone else about that…sadly.

**it's the beautiful things**: a sasusaku [slight AU

**chapter #4  
****title**: he is appalled, just appalled  
**genre**: humor/romance  
**warnings**: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T. and it's kind of perverted. AND I HAVE BAD GRAMMAR (English isn't my first language)!  
**things**: NYAA. Sasuke is a possessive bastardly awesome manga character. Be nice. And I wasn't bashing Sasuke. Sasuke was bashing himself. AND DEWD. SAI IS OOC BECAUSE IT FITS. THANK YOU.

_my toes love me_

I have just received a message from the dobe about Sakura (_my_ Sakura). Maybe she has forgiven me and will take me back as her (secret) lover. I mean. I will take her back (Now that I think of it, Sakura told me she had a problem with my _pride_. I wonder what she was talking about.).

So I'm walking out of the Uchiha Mansion/Compound/Place thing and heading out to Ichiraku where Naruto always is because he is a ramen-obsessed Hinata-loving idiot. And I'm passing all these places.

Yeah.

Because I can.

OKAY. Sitting down next to the dobe.

OKAY. Trying to ignore his slightly (very very very very very very loud) slurping, NOT unsuccessfully (…but what the hell is that nasty sound that he makes every few seconds when he swallows? Is he burping?). Because I am never unsuccessful.

"Hn."

"OI! SASUKE-TEME! IT'S YOU!" he bursts out.

Yes, you fucking dumbass, it _is_ me. You should be goddamn down on your knees for ignoring me too long.

Instead, I say, "Hn."

(And no, not just because it makes me sound cool. It also makes me _feel_ cool.)

"DID YOU HEAR? ABOUT NEJI-TEME AND SAKURA-CHAN?"

I'm not a gossip. I _may_ snoop around at the market _looking_ for the hottest gossip but that doesn't mean that I am one! Those old women are just abnormally…loud. AND NO, I DID NOT HEAR THAT JIRAIYA IS COMING OUT WITH A NEW INSTALLMENT THIS YEAR. NO I DID NOT.

I look at him in that weird (cool) way that I can, and say, "Hn?"

(And no, not just because I have a very bad, I mean, _mundane_, vocabulary. I just…WOULD YOU JUST FUCKING GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT?)

And then I look at the sakura tree behind the dobe's head while he talks. AND NO I DID NOT GET SENTIMENTAL AND THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES THAT I HAD WITH SAKURA.

"…and so you know how…"

Alright, blocking out the dobe.

"…so then he was like," OH NO, Naruto is going falsetto, "'OH KAMI-SAMA, SAKURA! I LOVE YOU, SO WILL YOU LET ME ESCORT YOU TO THE WONDERFUL WONDER THAT IS A DATE?'"

Wait.

WHAT.

(And Sakura said something about me being ignorant too…these things just come popping up out of NOWHERE. I'll have to look into this.)

"Hn, dobe. What'd Neji say?"

"I said he said," the dobe reverted to the high-pitched voice again, "'OH KAMI-SAMA, SAKURA! GO ON A DATE WITH ME OR I WILL TAKE YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, NO QUESTION!'"

…My ears.

MY GODDAMN FUCKING EARS!

I have very precious ears. They're…much more beautiful than some parts of me (COUGH MY HAIR COUGH). I mean, they're not even _pierced_ and they have these natural…

"SO I THINK WE SHOULD BEAT UP NEJI FOR ASKING SAKURA OUT ON A DATE!"

…

I agree.

"Hn," I respond.

(And not just because ITACHI started doing it. I don't give into peer pressure…much. I mean, the whole ninja thing was a given!)

"KAKASHI-SENSEI WILL AGREE!"

Even though the pervert isn't really our _sensei_ anymore…it just sounds weird to call him senpai. I mean, he's always at least an hour late. And he reads Icha Icha in front of us.

(AND HE DOESN'T LET US READ THEM.)

I mean, ew, pervert.

"AND SAI-TEME AS WELL!" the dobe said.

Sai's pretty much Sakura's older brother. He calls her hag and she punches him. It's cute (Sakura. Not Sai.). Despite how they seem not to get along, she kind of broke his emotionless Root façade.

"When?"

"THEY'RE GOING ON THE DATE TOMORROW! TOMORROW, TEME! DO YOU KNOW HOW LITTLE TIME THAT IS?"

I rolled my eyes (in a very manly way, if you haven't heard). "Yes, dobe."

"I'm going to find Kakashi-sensei and Sai-teme! If he calls me dickless one more time I'm going to beat the shit out of that…"

…

It has sunk in.

(AND OH MY KAMI-SAMA I WILL RISK SOUNDING LIKE A GIRL BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK? SAKURA, MY SAKURA, IS GOING OUT WITH ANOTHER MAN? I KNOW I DUMPED HER AND I'M DATING SOMEONE ELSE, SUCH AS HER BEST FRIEND, BUT ISN'T THAT A LITTLE HARSH, EVEN AFTER WHAT I DID?)

"…because I MEAN, I HAVE A…"

…

Someone needs to stick a tranquilizer dart down the dobe's throat before I kill him.

"…AND YOU KNOW I AM A GUY! I AM A MAN! AND I HAVE…"

Oh no, not with the manly man speech. That's _my_ speech.

"NO, dobe! Pull your pants up!" I shout (not screech, Uchihas do not screech).

And thus my eyes _and_ ears are scarred (thanks to Naruto). Then I follow him (no, he did not drag me) to find Kakashi, who is lazily sitting in one of the training grounds doing things that are _not_ training, and Sai, who had just come back from an (A-Class) mission and somehow had the strength to be drawing with his (nearly broken) hand. I mean, I could do that. I could (totally) do that.

And then I see Sakura talking to Neji at Ichiraku's.

And I have to say…

I am appalled, just appalled.

**A/N**: Okay. Was it funny/long/cool-ish-like-ness enough? Well. Review for the sake of SasuSaku (unless you don't like SasuSaku, in which then you can review for the sake of whatever you'd like).


	6. filler, when we eat our foods

**A/N**: Okay…sorry for the super-long wait. I had a lot of projects … TT Gosh, this part isn't really important. It's kind of more…boring. This chapter is short. And overexaggerated. But cuz I really love you, I will make this chapter less horrible with the amazing process of EDITING. Kind of. :D

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**les-liaisons-dangereuses** – Lawls. Yeah. He is pretty egoistical.

**blossoms14** – Yeah, Sasuke is a very strange boy and thanks!

**Inu-ru831** –D: Jealous Sasuke is one of the best. After possessive.

**Ki****rei Cherry Blossom** – Thanks.

**Angelsorceress** – Thank you.

**lito-pink-chihuahua** – xD Yes, NejiSaku rocks. SasuSaku will come soon, do not fear.

**Camilaka** – …Yes. You are amazing at showing appreciation.

**it's the beautiful things**: a sasusaku [slight AU

**chapter #****5  
****title**: filler – when we eat our food  
**genre**: humor/romance  
**warnings**: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T. and it's kind of perverted. AND I HAVE BAD GRAMMAR (English isn't my first language).  
**things**: Uchiha Fugaku's words are sloppy because he's eating. And I suck at writing Naruto's POV. I am overdoing the 'dattebayo'. Damn. I love HinaNaru fluff. I hate InoSasu, just to let you know. TINY SASUSAKU, guys. I'm sorry I portrayed Ino as a stupid bitch. I really love her character when she's FRIENDS with Sakura. :D

_ohmygosh, __do i look fat?_

**Itachi**

"I do believe that is my cupcake that you're eating," I said, burning holes through his head.

"You're a shinobi; you should not get fat by eating so much."

OH NO, YOU DIDN'T.

"Hai, hai, I can tell from you, otousan," I responded. "I however have been the ANBU Captain for a _very_ long time and can assure you that I AM IN PERFECTLY GOOD SHAPE."

"Itachi, you should call me otousama. I am very important," he says looking smug (and _fat_ compared to me).

"Alright, 'tou_chan_," I replied sarcastically, almost taking out a kunai. "Watch out, maybe somebody might just cut your head off with a _shiny new katana_ that they have handily nearby!" I said as I waved around the weapon.

"So what is this with little Sasuke-chan and his new girlfriend? Did we not love Sakura-chan?" I asked, after being impolitely IGNORED.

Otousan shrugged and said, "Sakura-chan was good girlfriend! Ino-chan not really, but if you knew…'" He talks sloppily when he eats. He, Uchiha Fugaku, head of Uchiha clan, talks shit when he is eating bright pink colorfully sprinkled cupcakes! "_blargle alkaslgk!_"

"Nani?"

"Itachi, why do you not listen?" he slammed his hand down on the table. "You must listen to otousama! Otousama is great! You be grateful!" Then he proceeded to swallow the rest of his cupcake and then leave.

_If I knew what?_

And do I really look fat?

_let's try something new now, dattebayo!_

**N****aruto**

"Sakura-chan, I'm going to try something different today!" I announced as Neji (Teme II) left.

She rolled her eyes and asked, "Are you going to put all of your ramen together? Because you did that already…"

"No, no, no! I'm not going to _have_ ramen!" I grinned. "Surprise!"

She blinked.

And then started laughing REALLY, REALLY hard!

"Are you going anorexic?"

"What? No! I just…Tsunade-sama told me that if I want to become the ultimate Hokage I HAVE to eat something other than ramen, dattebayo!" I frowned, trying to look pitiful.

(It didn't work. Sakura-chan ignored me.)

"And what exactly _is_ this new food?" she asked, still laughing.

(WHY, SAKURA-CHAN, WHY?)

"You see," I said, scratching the back of my head, "I don't really _know_ any other foods than ramen!"

"Baka!" she answered, hitting me playfully (kind of). "You're going to die early if you don't know any other foods than ramen!"

"It's not completely true, dattebayo!" I yelled. "Teme likes the tomatoes, and I eat ice cream with you! I had to try a bunch of funky foods at Hinata-chan's house too! There was fish! And Iruka-sensei gave me rice too! But mostly ramen, dattebayo!"

She gave me a heart-halfed grin (or was it a half-hearted grin…?) and squealed. "How are you and Hinata-chan doing? You too make such a cute couple!"

I nodded, throwing my fist up into the air.

"But you shouldn't treat her badly. Take her out for soba!"

"S-soba? What's that?" I asked (very INNOCENTLY, if you don't mind).

"Baka!" she punched me in the head (AND OH KAMI IT HURT!) and dragged me down the street.

Stopping at a **SOBAYA** ("This is a buckwheat-noodle restaurant!"), we walked in and MAN there's these fancy dimmed lights and stuff! It's pretty, dattebayo!

So then we sat down and this guy came up to Sakura-chan with a grin! It was ugly because he looked at her all funny like how I used to look at Sakura-chan and how I look at Hinata-chan now! I wonder what the resemblance is all about… (And I said "I LOVE YOU" to Hinata-chan the other day! We did some good kissing.)

"Sakura-chan, ah! What would you like today and who is this…rat?!" he asked, pointing to me!

I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM!

Of course, my lovely Sakura-chan came to my dear rescue. "_Rat?_ Nishikawa-san, this is one of my best friends, Uzumaki Naruto. He's not a rat; he's a shinobi and could probably PUMMEL YOUR ASS INTO THE GROUND."

Nishi shrunk ultimately, so I spoke up. "THAT'S RIGHT, NISHI, DATTEBAYO!"

"But anyways, we'll have a soba for a first-timer here and I'll just have some tea," she ordered, putting on an angel face and talking with a sweet voice.

Nishikawa ran out like a little girl and quickly came back with my soba! I think he was intimidated by me. I am a strong man!

"What are these anyways?!" I asked, as I picked up the brown noodles with my chopsticks.

She poured some soy sauce on them and grinned. "Buckwheat noodles."

I stuffed them in my mouth. "They're okay!"

_cuz i will ALWAYS win._

**Ino****s**

Yes, I'm on my date with SASUKE-KUN! He is so cute, I wanna pinch his cheeks.

('Cause, like, he's hot. And cute.)

So we just got back from this cute place that I had to pull Sasuke-kun to! It was a small dango shop owned by obasan (aunty)! The whole date started off, as I think, great!

So he came to the flower shop to pick me up. He was looking at these cherry blossoms very sentimentally. I tapped him on the shoulder and kissed him on the cheek, which he was SO SURPRISED BY that he didn't move! I know. (Me: 1)

"Hey Sasuke-kun, how was your day?"

"Hn."

He so loves me. Sakura says she actually got him to SAY STUFF. I mean, see, she was so totally lying. Sakura: 0, Me: 2.

(Not that I'm competing. She doesn't even know about me keeping score.)

"So, ready to go?" I asked, grabbing him by the arm. He tried to FEEL me up by nudging on my shoulder, thus hitting my side (not that I'm complaining).

(Me: 3, Sakura: Null.)

I pulled him out of the shop towards the dango shop where obasan was waiting.

"Oh, Ino-chan!" she said sweetly, before looking at Sasuke-kun (yeah, my obasan is a bit of a pedophile). "Who's this darling eye candy that you brought with you? Isn't that Sakura-chan's boyfriend? They made _such_ a cute couple. They were perfect for each other."

(Me: 3, Sakura: 1, damn it.)

Sasuke actually grinned at me.

(Me: 4, Sakura: 1, what a loser.)

Then I had two daifuku and then we started walking past a couple stores when we saw a sobaya, where two familiar people were sitting. Sasuke-kun dragged me in and we found a seat relatively close to those people.

"OH, TEME, IT'S YOU!" yelled Naruto.

I can't believe Hinata can even STAND him.

"Hey pig," Sakura grinned nervously and waved at me. "So how's your date been going?"

Sasuke talked with Naruto while I told Sakura ALL about my date.

"Oh," she smiled. "That's good. You're having a good time, right?"

I nodded.

"That's great. Yeah. Good!"

Then she turned around and bumped straight into Sasuke-kun. She blushed and he tinted RED, was that? Oh well, probably just from anger. Who has the right to BUMP INTO my Sasuke-kun?

(Me: 4, Sakura: -5, HAHAHA.)

**A/N**: Gahhhh! I'M SORRY. SO SORRY. I had this finished a while ago. I just … forgot? ;[ Don't kill me. Or slaughter me mercilessly. At least do it with some love.


End file.
